Third times a charm!

First of all I'd like to thank all of you for your support and concern.  Not only do I appreciate all of the texts, Facebook posts and messages, and phone calls, but I know my family and Jerrid do too.  People are constantly checking in on me and that means a lot.

As many of you know I had a scan on Friday.  Today, I got the results and they weren't what we were hoping for.  The chemo cocktail I have been on hasn't worked like we had hoped and the tumor in my abdomen has actually grown.  I also still have spots on my liver.  After hearing that, I didn't really ask anymore questions regarding the tumors, I just said, "Ok, where do we go from here?"  Dr. Morris first assured me that we are not out of options and we just need to try something else until we find one that works.  He then said he would be taking my case to the Tumor Board on Thursday morning.  Here all the cancer specialists look at my case and weigh in on what they feel is the best option for me.  Dr. Morris also said I am eligible for a clinical trial.  So, I'm going to go in on Thursday morning and hear what Dr. Morris has to say regarding what the Tumor Board has come up with and learn more about this clinical trial.  I feel very good about clinical trials as a whole, as they are usually the latest and greatest treatment out there.  I'm also looking into traveling to MD Anderson in Houston to see what they have to say about my case.  It's not that I don't trust Dr. Morris, but I feel like getting a second opinion at this stage of the game will give us all piece of mind.  MD Anderson is the #1 cancer center in the US and leading the way with research and new treatments for cancer every day.  I know Dr. Morris will support my decision to go to MD Anderson for a second opinion as he was the first one to tell me about them in the first place.  I will hopefully hear from MD Anderson in the next 24 hours regarding when I can get in for an appointment...hopefully it's very soon.  The last thing I want to do is put off treatment or the clinical trial Dr. Morris wants me to do to wait for a second opinion.  I want to get started on this next treatment as soon as possible, and really kick the shit out cancer this time around!  Third times a charm, right?

I am doing fine right now because I know that everything will be fine.  I feel great and have so much fight left in me that this cancer doesn't stand a chance.  I want to live and win this battle much more than it does.  Cancer does not scare me!  My only worry right now is Jerrid, my family, and Brayden.  I hate that they have to deal with news like this and watch me go through all of this.  I keep assuring them I'm fine and that everything will be fine, but it's hard for them to be reassured.  I know they feel helpless as do many of you, but I assure them and you that you are all doing so much for me.  It is all your cards, comments, texts, phone calls, emails, ect that help me get through the days.  I have posted so many of your cards, quotes, and prayers on my bathroom mirror...it is a great positive way for me to start my days!  I have also posted quotes and prayers on my computer...therefore, the two things I stare at most in a day (besides the lovely faces of my students) continue to lift my spirits and keep me positive.  So really, I don't need much, just your continued prayers and support and maybe some new bubble bath and a body pillow...but really, I don't need much! :)  If I could ask for one thing though...while you are praying for me, please pray for Jerrid, Brayden, and my family.  I think they need strength more than I do right now.

I will keep you updated on how Thursday goes and where my treatment is headed from here, but until then I assure you that...

"This is just another test God gave me, and I know just how to handle this...I'll hold my head high, I'll never let this define the light in my eyes, love myself, give it hell, I'll take on this world, yes I'll stand and be strong, no I'll never give up, I will conquer with love, and I'll fight!"