Saturday, September 15, 2012

Change of Plans

Well...there has been a slight change of plans in my treatment plan.  Dr. Morris called on Friday and said that the clinical trial he wanted me to participate in just closed and isn't taking new patients at this time.  So instead of him finding another clinical trial, he had his partner (who trained at MD Anderson) make some calls to MD Anderson to get me in earlier.  This was a little disappointing at first, but once I took some time to take it all in and process it...I'm actually happier with this situation.  MD Anderson is where I want to be, and I know they will find me the best treatment out there!  Friday afternoon Jean, my oncology nurse, called and said they got me an appointment on September 27th down in Houston, at MD Anderson.  WOO HOO!  Less than two weeks away!  My mom and I will be headed down on the night of the 26th and come back on the morning of the 29th.  So no worries, we will still be at the golf benefit.  You may not get to witness our dynamite golfing skills, but you'll definitely get to witness our dynamite socialization skills!

Until then I will be going on a very strict diet that is said to stop tumor growth.  This is something Jerrid and I have come up with after all the research we have done.  It could be brutal at times and very hard to stick to at times, but I WILL do it and it WILL make a difference in my health!  In a nut shell it's basically a lot of raw veggies and fruit, and a lot of green juice!  Brayden and Jerrid will continue to be my inspiration through this, and when I don't want to stick to it, just thinking of them will keep me going!

So even though, it seems that I can't catch a break when it comes to the big C, I still have so many blessings in my life.  On the top of that list...the sweetest, most fun little 5 year old around, who rocks my world and the most caring, genuine, loving husband I could ask for.  These two keep me going everyday, and do so much for me on a daily basis and they don't even know it.  Their constant concern for my well being, the way the interact with one another, the little random kisses and "I love you's" that sneak up on me...they are my world and I will not give up because of them!  Not too far down on my blessing list are my amazing, supportive, strong parents.  No parents should ever have to watch their child go through all that I have.  It brings me to tears just thinking about if I were in their situation with Brayden.  I don't know how they do it, but they stay strong for me, and do absolutely everything they possibly can to support me and ensure that I will be ok.  Next up, my "little" brother and sister (although, I'm much smaller than them now.)  It has been such a blessing to have Caitlin back in Omaha and living only 7 blocks from us.  She does ANYTHING we ask of her at ANYTIME.  She is a huge help with Brayden and so much that goes on around our house.  We couldn't have gotten through the last few months without her help and support.  As for Evan, he's probably the most worried out of anyone, because that is just the way he is.  No one would ever know that though because he goes on with his days just like any other, and that's what he needs to do in order to get through his days.  He's got an amazing wife though who has done so much to support me and show us support from their little family.  Evan's support shines through all that Linsey has done and continues to do!  Lastly, I am so lucky to be blessed with all the wonderful family and friends I have in my life.  I never could have imagined this amount of support, and I will never be able to thank you all for all that you have done and continue to do!  I am still constantly getting mail, text messages, MULTIPLE daily messages and posts on facebooks, phone calls, gifts, ect.  It almost makes me speechless just thinking about all that has been done for my family and all that people are continuing to do.  So many people are reaching out to us to help in so many ways...it's simply outstanding and appreciated beyond words!  Because I am so blessed in my life, I know sometime in the future, those blessings will carry over to my health!

Thank you for being a blessing!
Meighan


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Game Plan

Today we met with Dr. Morris to learn about a clinical trial that I am eligible for.  This clinical trial is for cervical cancer patients whose cancer is persistent or has re-occurred and previous treatment has not worked.  The drug is called brivanib and is in a pill form.  The hope is that this drug will attach to and stop (turn off or inhibit) a protein called vascular endothelial growth factor receptor 2 (VEGFR2) from working.  VEGFR2 works by turning on or stimulating the growth of tumor blood vessels.  It also works by turning on the growth of tumor cells.  Brivanib will also hopefully attach to and stop another protein called fibroblast growth factor receptor (FGFR) from working.  FGFR is another type of protein that works by turning on or stimulating the growth of tumor cells.  By stopping VEGFR2 and FGFR from working, brivanib will hopefully cause the cancer to shrink by stopping the growth of tumor blood vessels and tumor cells.  So, as you read, you can see there is a lot of "hoping" when it comes to this clinical trial and any clinical trial for that matter.  That is the point of clinical trials, to try something out to see if it's going to work.  There is obviously good reason, research, and facts to believe though that this IS going to work, otherwise, there would not be a clinical trial.  At the moment there are not a lot of treatment options out there for cervical cancer.  Therefore, by doing this clinical trial, I'm not only going cure my cervical cancer, but pretty much pave the way for cervical cancer treatments in the future...no big deal!  As my dad always said, "Go big or go home!"  Actually, my dad has never said that, but I like to say that he has!

So...now what?  Well tomorrow I will be heading in for multiple tests (chest CT, ECHO, EKG, blood tests, ect.) to ensure that I qualify for the trial, but Dr. Morris doesn't see any reason why I wouldn't.  Those results should all be in my Monday, and I will hopefully be able to start by the middle of next week.  The treatment regimen itself only involves taking 4 pills at the same time every day and then going in weekly for blood pressure checks and routine blood tests.  As with any drug, there are side effects, and most of them seem very similar to chemo side effects (fatigue, weakness, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, headaches.)  So we will see if this affects me or not, as always, I'll just take things one day at a time. 

Even though I'm going to start the clinical trial, I am still going to go down to MD Anderson.  I have an appointment with them on October 16th.  This appointment is not only for a second opinion/piece of mind, but also to hear if they have any other options for me. 

Thank you for your continued support, prayers, and never hosing hope!
Meighan

Monday, September 10, 2012

Third times a charm!

First of all I'd like to thank all of you for your support and concern.  Not only do I appreciate all of the texts, Facebook posts and messages, and phone calls, but I know my family and Jerrid do too.  People are constantly checking in on me and that means a lot.

As many of you know I had a scan on Friday.  Today, I got the results and they weren't what we were hoping for.  The chemo cocktail I have been on hasn't worked like we had hoped and the tumor in my abdomen has actually grown.  I also still have spots on my liver.  After hearing that, I didn't really ask anymore questions regarding the tumors, I just said, "Ok, where do we go from here?"  Dr. Morris first assured me that we are not out of options and we just need to try something else until we find one that works.  He then said he would be taking my case to the Tumor Board on Thursday morning.  Here all the cancer specialists look at my case and weigh in on what they feel is the best option for me.  Dr. Morris also said I am eligible for a clinical trial.  So, I'm going to go in on Thursday morning and hear what Dr. Morris has to say regarding what the Tumor Board has come up with and learn more about this clinical trial.  I feel very good about clinical trials as a whole, as they are usually the latest and greatest treatment out there.  I'm also looking into traveling to MD Anderson in Houston to see what they have to say about my case.  It's not that I don't trust Dr. Morris, but I feel like getting a second opinion at this stage of the game will give us all piece of mind.  MD Anderson is the #1 cancer center in the US and leading the way with research and new treatments for cancer every day.  I know Dr. Morris will support my decision to go to MD Anderson for a second opinion as he was the first one to tell me about them in the first place.  I will hopefully hear from MD Anderson in the next 24 hours regarding when I can get in for an appointment...hopefully it's very soon.  The last thing I want to do is put off treatment or the clinical trial Dr. Morris wants me to do to wait for a second opinion.  I want to get started on this next treatment as soon as possible, and really kick the shit out cancer this time around!  Third times a charm, right?

I am doing fine right now because I know that everything will be fine.  I feel great and have so much fight left in me that this cancer doesn't stand a chance.  I want to live and win this battle much more than it does.  Cancer does not scare me!  My only worry right now is Jerrid, my family, and Brayden.  I hate that they have to deal with news like this and watch me go through all of this.  I keep assuring them I'm fine and that everything will be fine, but it's hard for them to be reassured.  I know they feel helpless as do many of you, but I assure them and you that you are all doing so much for me.  It is all your cards, comments, texts, phone calls, emails, ect that help me get through the days.  I have posted so many of your cards, quotes, and prayers on my bathroom mirror...it is a great positive way for me to start my days!  I have also posted quotes and prayers on my computer...therefore, the two things I stare at most in a day (besides the lovely faces of my students) continue to lift my spirits and keep me positive.  So really, I don't need much, just your continued prayers and support and maybe some new bubble bath and a body pillow...but really, I don't need much! :)  If I could ask for one thing though...while you are praying for me, please pray for Jerrid, Brayden, and my family.  I think they need strength more than I do right now.

I will keep you updated on how Thursday goes and where my treatment is headed from here, but until then I assure you that...

"This is just another test God gave me, and I know just how to handle this...I'll hold my head high, I'll never let this define the light in my eyes, love myself, give it hell, I'll take on this world, yes I'll stand and be strong, no I'll never give up, I will conquer with love, and I'll fight!"